i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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