on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
