Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize