Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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