so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i love accidental penises.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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