So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
