All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
