Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
