Barsexuality is the new black.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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