Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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