I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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