I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were destined to go to rehab together
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
