Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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