THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
