Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
