Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize