I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
