K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This house was built for laser tag.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
