marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
