Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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