The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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