did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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