i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
