why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
