But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
