Got a toothbrush?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
