I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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