So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
