brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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