I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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