So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
