Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
