I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
