i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
