Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
