Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
