And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
