dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
