You work out of a Hotel?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
