i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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