whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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