Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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