He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
