worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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