i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
