I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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