I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
