its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize