Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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