She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
