So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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