1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize