he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
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he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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