i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
