I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
