Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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