pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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